It’s a cruel irony in the world of tattoos that the people who are loudest about their desire to get tattooed are often the most adamant about finding ways to make the process easier. Some opt for expensive gels while others get zonked out of their minds in an attempt to get through a painful session. Here are some of the worst—and often totally ineffective—ways to prepare for a tattoo session.
Tanning
Getting some rays before getting tattooed isn’t something people normally think of as egregious; some see it as a last hurrah before staying out of the sun for a while as the piece heals. But the truth is that doing sun damage to skin that is about to get tattooed makes life harder on the tattoo artist. Sun-beaten skin is tougher, drier, and flakier than protected skin and therefore doesn’t make for a very good canvas. This is why when people ask what the best time to get tattooed is, the answer is almost always winter.
Moreover, assuming a person intends to diligently protect their tattoo from the sun once they have it—which everyone should—getting one last fleeting tan on a patch of skin makes no sense in the long run. Soon that skin will be covered in ink and need at least a couple months of complete protection from the sun, making those last rays virtually pointless.
Smoking Weed
The worst thing about getting high in order to get through a session is that it doesn’t even work. While weed has painkilling properties when it comes to dull, throbbing pains it often makes enduring sharper, intense pain even harder. The body just wants to be calm, relax, and sleep when under the influence of marijuana; getting tattooed in such a state would be like trying to fall asleep in a massage chair only to find someone jamming needles into one’s arm thousands of times per second. I've heard numerous horror stories from friends who have tried this method of coping with a session and found that it fails miserably.
Drinking
Getting drunk before a tattoo session is slightly less stupid than getting high because at least it’s somewhat effective as a painkiller. However, it’s highly dangerous for two reasons: it adds a degree of unpredictability to the session and manipulates blood pressure. No matter what kind of drunk a person claims to be, someone’s behavior under the influence during a tattoo session could easily become a huge distraction or worse. This is why walking into a shop noticeably drunk is the easiest way to get thrown out. Alcohol’s affect on the body will also cause excessive bleeding, making life difficult for the tattoo artist and affecting the degree to which the skin will be able to retain ink. This often creates a need for touch up sessions that only prolong the tattoo’s completion.
Taking Painkillers
Painkillers create the same issue as drinking: by thinning the blood they keep it from clotting properly, forcing your tattoo artist to swim through blood the entire session. For some this issue is a matter of degree and opinion: some think a little bit of something low-grade like ibuprofen isn’t worth getting bent out of shape about but draw the line at stronger pills.
Personally I consider any attempt to make getting tattooed easier on oneself a matter of respect for the artist and the craft itself. By agreeing to get tattooed by a particular artist and signing a release each client is promising to arrive of sound mind and body, just as the artist is expected to do. Not enough people appreciate that it’s as important for the client to abide by this as it is for the artist, as a matter of health and safety. In addition, tattooing is a tradition that undoubtedly involves pain, but to try and shortcut that pain is a manipulation of the tattooing experience and tradition that any inked person is a part of. People around the world have been getting by without using gels or pills for centuries; to not stick it out at least in deference to them strikes me as borderline embarrassing.
Michael Piznarski - Michael Piznarski studied English literature at Colgate University. He is a globetrotter, volunteer, former pre-law student, and actor.
