As a heavily tattooed person I am often asked about two things: how to find the right tattoo artist and how painful the process of getting tattooed really is. While this varies somewhat depending on the person, here is a detailed guide—in order from least to most painful—to which parts of the body I’ve found especially miserable and what it is about these locations that make them difficult to endure.
Session Length Is Key
One thing to be aware of is that time is a major factor when it comes to getting tattoo work done. People often talk about the most and least painful places to get ink as though it’s a black and white process, but one rule of thumb to consider is that any tattoo can be painful if you choose to do very long sessions. The skin has a certain endurance threshold just like the rest of the body; eventually it gets tired of fighting the constant intrusion of needles.
The least painful tattoo I ever got was the one running down my arm from the ball of my shoulder. The sessions that I booked were eight hours apiece, however, and because the tattoo is a portrait it’s rather intricate. During one session—at the end of the eighth hour of having the same small patch of skin bombarded with needles—my shoulder was so swollen and bleeding that my skin simply stopped retaining ink. Therefore if you’re worried about your pain threshold but are passionate about getting a tattoo, talk to your tattoo artist about booking a number of short sessions instead of fewer longer ones. You're under no obligation to do lengthy, miserable sessions as if you're being ceremonially inked by a Thai master, and the simple fact is that putting on a brave face for an hour or two is far easier than doing it for the better part of a day, no matter where the tattoo is.
Underside Of The Arm
The underside of my arm started to look boring to me once I had a tattoo on the ball of my shoulder, so I got a color tattoo running all the way to the crease of my armpit as well. While people are correct to mention that tattoos directly over bones are often painful, very tender skin—and skin with nerves near the surface—is also pretty difficult to sit through. An unfortunate side effect of tattoos on areas that fit this description, which include the underside of the arms and the underside of the wrists, is that your nearest extremities will start to tremor and twitch uncontrollably.
The pain of the area being tattooed when I inked the underside of my arm wasn’t terrible, but nerve pain caused by the needles shot up my arm into my fingers, which in turn would slightly clench and unclench. This is very difficult to deal with because my strategy during sessions is to try and relax the area the artist is working on as much as possible. As a side note, you will never meet someone who uses the “hold my breath and clench” method of surviving tattoo sessions that has endured any significant amount of tattoo work; they would’ve passed out and stopped getting work done. It’s hard, but try to relax.
The Back
I got my entire back tattooed two weeks after I turned eighteen. It should be noted that there is no such thing as a tattoo on “the back,” as the different parts of the back vary wildly in terms of pain. People often say that the spine is excruciating, but I must say I found the vibrating sensation borderline relaxing. In my experience tattoo work on the back was hardest to get through around the edges of the shoulder blades and the lower back.
Taken in isolation the lower back may be the single most painful spot I have ever been tattooed. Tattoos there have the horrible distinction of being directly on a bone AND on sensitive, nerve-ridden skin. Nerve pain shoots down your legs into your shoes, often causing your feet to shake as explained before. My tattoo artist told me that his experience getting his lower back inked was so awful he never went back to have the piece completed. Coming from someone who is tattooed literally from head to toe, that’s quite an intimidating fact.
The Ribcage
My most painful tattoo overall, however, was the piece that runs across my ribcage and part of my stomach. The position you must stay in during the sessions is a big part of why this area is so painful, because not only are you tattooing tender skin with jutting bones underneath but you will primarily be on your side with your arm above your head, causing your ribs to stick out even more than normal. The skin in this area also has a tendency to get ticklish very easily, which puts you in the disconcerting position of needing to giggle and yell at the same time.
Even for the most seasoned veterans this is a location that warrants giving yourself a break with a number of shorter sessions. I’m all for getting something painful over with, but that’s easy to say until you do a seven hour session on your ribs and walk out of the shop holding a tennis ball marked with permanent fingernail indentations from all the squeezing you’ve been doing. Yes, that actually happened.
Michael Piznarski - Michael Piznarski studied English literature at Colgate University. He is a globetrotter, volunteer, former pre-law student, and actor.
